Psalm of Loss

PSALM OF LOSS

You know what it's like when a disaster happens - someone's death or just that you've lost your precious scarf. There's that feeling of loss. Is there ever a way out of it? Sometimes, I suppose there is, and sometimes it takes years to come to terms with it, never mind 'get over it' (as people expect you to).

One day God's in his heaven, why should I fret about the future?
nothing can go wrong with this wonderful world.
The next day my world's had an anaesthetic:
my whole existence is exploded and collapsed in ruins!
He can't be dead, it's a lie:
I'm dreaming it all, and soon I'll be awake.
Where can I go, why should I drink:
there's no point in anything, just leave me alone.
Don't tell me what happened, someone's to blame:
wait till I find out, I'll kill them, you'll see...
what's the use? It's my fault anyway:
I should have known it's a joke, happiness can't last.
I'm so heavy and depressed, nothing matters anymore:
was that him I saw at the corner of the street?
I'm probably going mad, I expect it's the shock:
people are avoiding me; they don't understand -
no-one can ever understand, it's all unjust:
nobody can feel like this, it's too big a load;
not the prying newspapers as well as the rest:
leave me my own private grief and just go away.
How can I cope with the pain - it cannot get better:
a word, a look, or a touch just sets me off crying again.
The past tense illuminates, he was and it has been:
so much that is good floods back to my memory.
Of course it's difficult - no, I haven't got over it:
I'm not the same person, and neither are you!
Let me find something new, there's so much of interest:
friends are still welcome, there are new ones to meet.
Perhaps I shall learn to sleep again sometime:
the world still goes on, there is life to be lived.
We turn to God in a crisis, I can use your peace:
it's helpful to be quiet, when I'm aware of your presence.
Millions of times before, you've been through this:
you know how to listen and give me your hope.

Notes:

June 04